Motherhood into Grace

Who’s to say if this is deep seeded depression, the reality of grief I’ve never known before, or pregnancy hormones that make me shape-shift without my consent.

Motherhood stretches and pushes us to our very limit, often leaving visible marks and scars throughout the journey.  And yet, I have come to acknowledge that this is a mercy from the Lord.  How could that be? 

I'm not saying the discomforts of pregnancy, the agony that comes with childbirth, the triggers that flood you daily in parenting are any less real than what they are.  THIS is how we are broken open. 

And in that process we come to the end of ourselves.  In our desperation and complete exhaustion we have no one and nothing else to turn to.  

THIS is the mercy.  God graciously ushers us, women, mothers, with kindness and gentleness into a place of holy peace.  In that moment of full surrender, we are chosen by God to be tenderly cared for and entirely loved.  

While covered in baby vomit, unwashed hair in a messy bun, 3 day old pajamas, tear-stained cheeks, and a mind displaced from our body, God meets us with company and delight.  He greets us quietly and confidently.  And in that holy place of motherhood, our brokenness becomes His greatest act of grace. 

Hallelujah, thank You, Jesus.